depression, PTSD, Panic Attack's

10:38 on a Monday…

I haven’t blogged in while due to thoughts which say to me that I’m not all that interesting. I battle with this continuously. I’m sad that my mind tells me I’m boring and have nothing of value to input. Plus I got obsessive over my school work and essays consumed my life. I had to write a certain way that was strict and controlling. Teachers would tell us we had to write in third person. Do not use the words I, you and a couple others. *laughs*

Right now I’m sitting on a curb in front of the dollar tree. I helped out by staying late tonight. It was awesome to get more hours though. It really dark and pretty cold out. Oh there goes metro watch(a security guard). Driving around the complex.

My creative writing feels all messed up. It feels sorta messy. But I enjoy it so much. I feel out of wack.

depression, PTSD, Panic Attack's

Who I am… Today in the Moment

I am antithetical.This can be characterized as being directly opposed or contrasted, mutually incompatible. I proclaim myself to be a exceedingly unique person.

I feel safe outside in front of my family’s door. Im squatting as I puff on my anxiety relief kicks in for a few. I use to be alert every second I sat out here. I was able to hear anything moving in my sight. It felt like a super power.

I lay in my bed with a puffy soft pink blanket. I have a mini Christmas tree with little light; illuminates my room.

depression, PTSD, Panic Attack's

Anxiety, Depression and Successes

I feel Defeated. I couldn’t maintain rent with the minimal hours I have at work. My anxiety took on a body of its own and crushed me. Pounding me down into the ground. The feelings of anxiety plus depression constantly telling me I’m not smart enough to be in school again, crushed my spirit. I messed up on my last five page paper. I realized I hadn’t written it correctly and had to rewrite the whole thing. I suddenly got squashed with homework. It was all sad and defeating. But one thing I keep trying to remind myself is on the show American Greed people seem to reinvent themselves over and over again after failing at one job they continue and they succeed some where else. I keep thinking about this. Yes, I have a minimum wage job but who knows what the future holds

depression, PTSD, Panic Attack's

*Shine* To do

👽 Peak Jen: Conquers something. Feels awesome. Gets all ‘on to the next one’. But focus = tricky. Today, ‘spacewalk’ your to-dos.

Want to learn more or check your intention?

Multitasking makes us *feel* like productivity pros, but it actually creates more stress & reduces our output by 40%. The fix: monotasking, aka taking it *1* thing at a time.

Today, try to *spacewalk* your to-do list. 🚀 As you hustle, think: Am I tethered to *1* task right now, or kind of drifting into a to-do list black hole? Take it 1 focus at a time.

One small step for your to-do list, one giant leap for productivity, Jen.

P.s. How batching can help you avoid the multitasking trap, too 👾

depression, PTSD, Panic Attack's

*Shine* holiday to-do list

🤜 Ready to crush your pre-holiday to-dos, Jen? You got this. Just don’t let pressure morph into perfectionism. Today’s Shine explains the difference.

Want to learn more or check your intentions?

Perfectionism is up 33%—and it can cause us to freeze up. But leaning into what researchers call ‘adaptive perfectionism’ can boost our motivation + help us find our flow.

Today, lean into ‘adaptive perfectionism’ by balancing your high expectations with self-compassion. 😌 Ex. ‘I want to nail this essay—but I know I can grow with feedback.’
If perfection’s your goal, make self-compassion your home base, Jen.

P.s. On the flip side: the *benefits* of aiming to do things imperfectly