II do stupid things. Things that seem illogical to the everyday person. At time’s my mind can see from one perception. We all learn things from a young age. But what if you never attempted to understand. Or a taboo thing in everyone else eyes doesn’t appear that way in your eyes. You don’t know of any other way to get your needs met.I don’t talk directly about my issue because I understand I will be judged. It’s
It’s two am… Outside walking through across walk into a dark whole full of bounce bunny’s hopping about. The pitch blackness which makes it harder to write and walk at the same time.
My job let me go with the holiday help. My body isn’t moving. My anxiety is here and in full swing. Breathing in and out completely has been hard.
But there is hope. I can possible land a 30 hour a week job. I’m being chill and understanding for the most part. My manager told me I was laid off by xing out everyday I work. I’m just a silly girl. When I say “silly” it’s a nice way of telling myself or others that the situation or person is appearing to be extremely stupid.
Im not coping well today. The anxious feelings are constant. All I want is a moment to feel happy. So I artificially induce it with marijuana.
Life isn’t bad. I’ve gone through worse. The looming feeling of being utterly shocked so ….I felt the same feeling the night of trauma. Honestly it’s not an emotion I’m not fond of. It’s a constant feeling of numbing an event out. Body part aren’t functioning well. I’m in shut down mode. But don’t worry I’m only resting. 🙂 not Defeated.